Hair: Looking Like Your (Best) Self is Chic

This evening, as a break from the dinner party preparations, I took a look through some old photos that I'd recently organized.  As I moved further back in time, I couldn't help but get distracted by something - my hair.  I am sure we all have those "what was I thinking?" kind of moments, but I was having it for every single shot!

As I sorted through the photos, I saw wedges and bobs and pixie cuts (and a mullet-like number I want to burn all evidence of).  Flat-ironed straight and even a post-80s perm (why was I so behind the curve on that one??).  Light brown, highlights, really bad highlights, various shades of red, and even the beet purple so popular with my Eastern European aunties.  Let's not forget the ill-planned blonde, which lasted all of three days, because my roots grew in so quickly.  Did I mention  this was all in the past 10-12 years?

It was entertaining but a little bit mortifying too.  At the time those pictures were taken, I thought my look was the bees knees.  But with a little distance I can now safely say I had some very unflattering styles.  It often looked like it simply belonged to someone else, and I had just snatched it off some bald pate and run away.

The photos I was most pleased with were from the last three to four years, but much like my style, it was an evolution over time to get there.  It started with my slowly finding the best cut to suit my face shape, a modified chin-length wedge withs some layers in the back.  By then, I was living in California and heavily influenced by the popular intense-highlighting trend there.  It was very stripey and choppy.  I jumped on that bandwagon, but I never really felt comfortable with the results.  It needed a lot of maintenance and just didn't suit me, but I felt like I needed to do it in order to feel properly groomed.

I was getting married around that time, and I had read all the advice about having a timeless hairstyle.  I knew the heavy highlights would be a trend I would not care to remember in my wedding photos 20 years from now, so I toned them down a bit. But I still kept some light highlights, because to not have anything "done" to my hair made me feel naked!  (I am so glad I made that choice, because the wedding photos today do not make me cringe like the rest of them do.)

Shortly after the wedding, we moved to Europe.  And then another realization struck.  Away from California, I suddenly had perspective on the brassy bottle blondes -- it wasn't just trendy, it was artificial and harsh.  And it was definitely not me.

By now, I was sporting a more "natural" look, though it still needed to be maintained.  I sought out a hair salon in Brussels and explained what I was looking for.  The conversation went something like this:

Me: "I have highlights, and it's been a couple months, and I need the roots touched up."
Stylist, lips pursed and brow furrowed: "But why?"
Me, now also furrowing brow: "Because they are starting to show, where it's growing in, here."
Stylist: "Hmmm..." as he tousles my hair.
Awkward silence while I wonder what the word for "highlights" is in French.
Stylist: "You know, maybe it's too much blonde here if you can see the roots so sharp.  Look at how faded these ends are.  I think you need to rest your hair a bit."
Me: "But I need to have some highlights to brighten my face."  That's what all the style segments on talk shows say about 'em, haven't you heard??
Stylist, "Yes, but you know there is a danger in going too far from your natural color.  You know the color you are usually best-suited for?  The one you are born with.  This way you can be sure it matches your complexion."
Me: "Hmmm..."

Long story short, he convinced me to return to my natural color, one I hadn't seen in years.  I felt practically goth in my darker hair, but also a little daring for making the change.  What he said did make sense - the color you are born with probably does match the rest of you rather well.  And I liked the idea of less chemicals, and less time and money spent at salons.

But the biggest clincher was how it made me feel.  I felt more authentic, more natural, more healthy - and my hair looked it.  Looking at the photos since, I see the brown curls gleaming in the flash and it looks lovely.  I look like the best version of myself, not some hyped-up trend of the moment or celebrity.  I stopped looking for fashion, and found my style instead.  It was there all along, and that was chic.